I Wanted to Wish You a Happy Birthday

Hey P, happy belated birthday!

I wanted to wish you happy birthday on the day itself, but I didn’t want to risk tainting it in any way. It makes me sad to think hearing from me would ruin your mood, but I know that’s probably true.

I don’t know that I’ll ever get to tell you this, or that I would given the chance, but I miss you and I think about you all the time. Just like I did before our second spark.

We blew our first chance and then the rarest thing happened: the Universe gave us a second one. How often in life do two people get second chances like we did? And I blew it. I’m still not entirely sure what happened, but I am so sorry I abandoned you the way I did.

At the end you said my words were just words and nothing more, but you were wrong. I’ve never told you anything that wasn’t from the bottom of my heart. I’ve never told you anything that I didn’t believe and that’s the honest truth. You once said I’m good with words and I told you I’m good with you, and I meant it.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before, but know that I’ve never met anyone like you and I doubt I ever will again. You’re my secret. You’re the girl from my past I never tell other girls about. How could I?

Maybe we’ll get a third chance someday. It’s the most unlikely thing ever, but if it were to happen to anyone, it would definitely be us. Then again, how stupid would you have to be to take it? To risk yourself again. To trust me again. Hopefully the time will be right for us and you’ll be really, really stupid.

I miss you. I miss holding you. Few people, if any, to be honest, have ever held me like you have. I will never forget the way you held me on that night we met after not seeing each other for so long. I lost track of time in your arms and for a while I also lost myself.

You will always be my little atom. My girl on the train.

With love and regret,
Your Comet.

🌓

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