– No, Liz, you called because you knew that all you had to do was ask and I would flip my fucking life upside down for you.
– So fucking what, Syl?! So what? No one’s holding a gun to your head, if you don’t like it, you can walk right the fuck out!
Syl bangs his fists on the table.
– Really, Liz?! No one’s holding a gun to my head? What about the gun you’re holding to my fucking heart?! What about that, huh? You’ve had your finger on the fucking trigger for as long as I can remember!
– Oh my god, spare me the fucking sob story, Syl! I know, endless mizery, ninth circle of Hell, we’ve all heard the stories, we’ve all read your writing and seen the fucking drawings, just shut the…
– Fuck you, Liz! Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you dare make light of everything I’ve been through! You know where I’ve been, you know what I’ve done, you know I almost fucking… you know I almost…
Syl breaks down, his eyes tear up. Liz realizes she went too far. She wants to take it back, but doesn’t know how.
– I… I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean…
– I know.
– You know how I get, you know I say stupid shit when I’m upset, I’m sorry.
– I know!
No one says anything for a minute.
– It’s not fair.
– What isn’t?
– This power you have over me. Still, after all this time, after I’ve already accepted that you’re the devil, I would still sell you my soul.
– Please don’t be mean…
– Why would you do this? Why would you return to me? You knew I had moved on. Even if you still have my heart, I had managed to live without it. Why would you go and drag me back? What am I supposed to tell her now? She’s actually pretty great, you know. She’s a good, kind person. She doesn’t deserve this.
She pauses for a second.
– Maybe you don’t, either. Maybe you deserve better than me. Maybe I am selfish and manipulative, and it kills me how I’ve hurt you, and it kills me that I’m this weak, but I… honestly I don’t care about her. I don’t care about anyone else beside us. I would have the world burn if it meant I could be with you. I know I should have told you this sooner, I know I would have spared both of us a world of pain, but I’m just fucked up like that. I’m human. I’m a slave to my emotions. I’m sorry for the stupid choices I made, but I’m not sorry for wanting to be with you, even if it’s this late, even if it breaks other people’s hearts.
– How do I know these emotions you’re a slave to won’t have you running out on me again?
– How do you know she won’t do the same? How do you know that regardless of who you’re with?
– For starters, she doesn’t have a history of turning fucking tails and abandoning people.
– Please don’t be mean! You’re doing it again!
– How can I fucking not?! Do you realize how many years of resentment have built up inside me?
– And yet you say I still have your heart.
– Of course you do, you always goddamn will. I’d get a fucking lobotomy if it meant I could forget you, but somehow I think even then you’d find a way back, maybe it’s my heart that needs to be lobotomized, maybe they should fucking study me, I might have a way to store memories in my heart, too.
– It always impressed me how you can say beautiful things like these and still be a jerk somehow.
– I hate you, Liz. I hate you so much for everything you’ve done to me. And I hate myself for everything I’ve done to you. I swear it makes no sense to me, but in all this mess you’ve made, in this shitstorm you brought down on me, behind all this anger and confusion, I do not understand how somehow I am so immensely happy to have you back. I guess this is love. I hate you so much and I don’t know how I can forgive everything you’ve done, but I am tied to you in ways that defy human reason. I would do literally anything to be with you. No amount of pain and no number of years could ever change that. It scares me how at the center of my existence is your stupid, beautiful face, even after everything.
– Deep down I always hoped you’d come back. I’ve been waiting all this time, and I knew I would hate you for it, but I… I still hoped that you’d one day be back.
Liz comes closer, grabs Syl’s hand and gently strokes his hair.
– Will you do this with me, Syl?
He pauses, looks in her teary eyes for a second, and puts his hand on her waist.
– To Hell and back. Always.