Let’s try a little exercise. Begin by closing your eyes. No, not yet, you doofus!
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‘The Gallery of Me’ – September 2012
‘The Gallery of Me’ in September 2012. There’s also a store now.
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*NOW HIRING*
Looking for a girl with a pearl earring.
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The Story of Our Fucking Life Together
Something I randomly came up with a year ago and only just now got around to writing it. Our story begins at a fucking party. I’m fucking wasted and you’re fucking easy. Our eyes meet across the room and I…
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All I Want
All I want is to just walk up to you and tell you how pretty you are. I can’t, however, for fear that I might die. So for now, you’ll just have to deal with me staring at you. And…
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Come Back to Me
I take comfort in knowing that I’m smarter, better looking and overall a better person than your newfound love interest and since you chose that newfound love interest over me, that also says a lot about your own judgement, or…
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A Tale of Eight Legs
I have just returned from a fierce battle with an eight legged monster whom I suspect had been planning to take over my household for who knows how long. The beast was hiding on my kitchen ceiling, plotting and developing…
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Jerry the Cancer
Meet Jerry, the friendliest terminal cancer you’ve ever seen. ______________________________________ Jerry the Cancer Hi there! I know this may come as a shock to you, but I’m Jerry, your lung cancer. Boy, this is awkward. You look a bit pale,…
